Dovina5 Apr 2006

The first verse sets up a rhyme scheme, which I expected to see in the other verses, and missed in Verse 2.

The last line changes from third to first person, repeating the previous line, making the poem personal, and losing the structure. I think it's best to stick with a structure, once started.

A poem with nostalgic recall of earlier times can be very effective, but it's also a very common thing to do. I think it needs metaphor or unusual wording or specific events to set it off as being different.