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Good old days (Free verse) by amanda_dcosta

When she was little, a life carefree, She'd sing and dance in her home by the sea. She'd chase butterflies all day long, Singing 'Send me the pillow', her favourite song. She'd swing her arms above her head Go round in circles on the green turf. She remembers how happy she used to be In a world of her own. Gone are those days when she'd run wild and free Play I spy with friends or climb up a tree, Or jump from the branches, or slide down a wall If only she could relive it all. If only I could relive it all!

Dovina 5-Apr-06/11:41 AM
The first verse sets up a rhyme scheme, which I expected to see in the other verses, and missed in Verse 2.

The last line changes from third to first person, repeating the previous line, making the poem personal, and losing the structure. I think it's best to stick with a structure, once started.

A poem with nostalgic recall of earlier times can be very effective, but it's also a very common thing to do. I think it needs metaphor or unusual wording or specific events to set it off as being different.




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