Caducus4 Apr 2006

Because this read so heartfelt and genuine it seemed elevated from greeting card style poetry to something more and i find myself drawn to the simplicity of it.

I guess I'm saying simplicity can work - i think the meter helps and it would be even better with a couple of killer lines (less basic). It needs a core, a heart.

The end line normally would make you sound dependant on someone else to feel loved but it kind of works for me though why do you love him? give us a reason and make the love tangible and felt more.

Pretty good, flawed yet lovely.