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These Past Sixteen Months (Free verse) by amanda_dcosta

You'd call it hell. I choose to call it refining. Loved ones around me die, One after another, Two of them very dear to me. And then the next... Suffers from a stroke That affects his life forever. Paralyzed, Dreams shattered, Soul depressed. The list goes on. One has a tumor, Another cancer... Terminally ill is how they define her. Still further, an accident That claims a life. Nightmares, confusion and the like. We've grown. Flown out of their nest. Distance separates us In four continents. Yet... I choose to hold firm No matter the cost, To the only comfort The one on the cross... Unfathomable love Ever quenching Spirit Abiding presence! I run my race I stand my ground. Tho' storm clouds blow o'er me, I'm safe in His arms.

ecargo 3-Apr-06/8:27 AM
I like the specific details in this; the sense we get of the you in the poem; the ways we are able to see, without broad unanchored statements, the challenges to your faith. Watch the overused lines and cliches (hold firm, run my race/stand my ground, the list goes on, etc.). I'd suggest losing the ellipses (they serve no purpose, really--you're not omitting anything) and the archaisms in the second to last line (tho' o'er).




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