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A Schizophrenic (Free verse) by amanda_dcosta

He shakes his head, Rolls on his bed, Speaks gibberish With eyes deep red. He fights and kicks, He shouts and spits, And makes his family Lose their wits. With hair unkept, Mood, not his best He lives his life A real test. He's labelled 'mad' Inside he's sad, No one knows him Nor understands. Alas, we call ourselves human And yet what do we see We're totally numb to those desperate Whose lives we do not feel. He's crying out, oh! don't you know He's longing to be near To anyone who'll love him And want to call him 'dear'. So heed his call and do not tarry Although with him there's cause for worry. Or only when we're in his shoes We'll understand the schizo news.

ALChemy 24-Jan-06/12:58 AM
You may come across the popular poemranker critique "Show us don't tell us" and you'll think "what the hell is that supposed to mean. If so, I feel your pain. It's a generic comment made by those who are too lazy to explain what they mean. What they usually mean is that in some poems you should make the poem take on the characteristics of the subject. If it's a sad poem use sad words and slow rythm. If it's a happy poem use happy words and upbeat rhythm. Think about writing your poem in a parable style like Jesus did with his disciples. Now this isn't always the case. I am perfectly OK with scientific and philosophical approaches to poetry that avoid too much aesthetic imagery and are focussed more on the truth of reality. Anyway I just thought I'd let you know that here, it's a lot about "show".




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