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Better Off Dead (Lyric) by wilco

The paper-airplane smog hanging over my noose sent me into convulsions on the right side of youth. The recycled thoughts coming out of the clouds became movie-script endings and Indian mounds. And it came without warning and some broken bones a losing lottery ticket and reminders of home. Oh, but the winter chill sinks into my bones like Ebbot’s Pond absorbing stones that we’ve thrown. And she rains when her eyes cloud up and she’s saved from how life ends up when you’re all alone. Cigarette smoking in a hundred degrees and a leper sees your heart says “it’s still a disease”. Take away the romance in the end of your days, it’s just a long holiday at the bottom of Fire Lake. So, I’ll wait for the engine to turn off all the lights, become a secondary character and fade out of sight. Oh, but the winter chill sinks into my bones like Ebbot’s Pond absorbing stones that we’ve thrown. And she rains when her eyes cloud up and she’s saved from how life ends up when you’re all alone.

wilco 8-Dec-05/12:37 PM
Ok, then, let me explain it to you: I left that comment because anything I would've said had already been said. I didn't see a point in repeating what someone else had already said.

I went into more detail about what I think on one of your recent posts (Dark's Nest or The Dark, one..). Your response was to tell me that I didn't understand it and that I need to dig deeper. That's the typical Poemranker response. The fact is that the poem didn't make me WANT to dig any deeper.

As far as what you want out of a comment:

1. I've explained that I don't feel the need to repeat someone else's suggestion. If I feel that it needs something that someone hasn't said, I'll say it. If not, I simply leave a short comment to at least let them know that I read it.

2. If a poem provokes me to think of something interesting to write, I do.

3. Funny? I'm not a fucking comedian.

4. If you want me to be inspired and excited, write something to inspire and excite me. I've been on here for two years and I've learned who is going to use criticism and who's going to ignore it. Let's face it...you don't want me to critique your poem, you want me to tell you how great it is. Sorry.







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