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Better Off Dead (Lyric) by wilco

The paper-airplane smog hanging over my noose sent me into convulsions on the right side of youth. The recycled thoughts coming out of the clouds became movie-script endings and Indian mounds. And it came without warning and some broken bones a losing lottery ticket and reminders of home. Oh, but the winter chill sinks into my bones like Ebbot’s Pond absorbing stones that we’ve thrown. And she rains when her eyes cloud up and she’s saved from how life ends up when you’re all alone. Cigarette smoking in a hundred degrees and a leper sees your heart says “it’s still a disease”. Take away the romance in the end of your days, it’s just a long holiday at the bottom of Fire Lake. So, I’ll wait for the engine to turn off all the lights, become a secondary character and fade out of sight. Oh, but the winter chill sinks into my bones like Ebbot’s Pond absorbing stones that we’ve thrown. And she rains when her eyes cloud up and she’s saved from how life ends up when you’re all alone.

wilco 8-Dec-05/6:17 AM
First, lots of things outshine this. If I leave a short comment like that, it's usually for one of three reasons:

1) Someone has already made the suggestions that I would make and there's no sense in wasting time writing them again. This is usually the case.

2) I have made more extensive comments on that persons poems before and either they have informed me that they're no interested in my opinion or they have completely ignored me.

3) Because i think it's pretty good and if it can be improved, I'm not a good enough poet to tell them how to do it.

As far as the "modern language", what other language anm I supposed to use? Would Olde English make it more original?

In the future, being direct works better with me. If you think that my commenting sucks, then say that. Please don't be a smart ass. What? I've been a smart ass before? That's true, but only when I've told that person the same thing 100 times before....and when I'm in a pissy mood.




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