zodiac4 Dec 2005

I am a big fan of rhyming free verse, but think you might
(1) enjamb more, like you did well in the first three lines of the fourth stanza,
(2) not use "amidst" for something singular like "tide",
(3) scent's, not scents',
(4) tighten up your message and phrasing just a little.

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