Poemranker [Replying] Thu Nov 21 12:19:15 PST 2024

Replying to a comment on:

modern death(Debuffeted) (Free verse) by Crakyamuni

The terror of dreaming about self inflicted lust, lashing at the back of my forward distractions, my errors HAcking and skratching on my frontal lobe reaction With I used you for sex today claim her, without a name Your distraction is heaven the shallow tremblings, only sustanence can make me relevant Such a stance is mediocre at birth so I She was born to feed me ill divine will this one will hurt, and she will be the one to forget It sings like a song that was born self aware, drinkings me to death, drinkings me to lifeless with every death we wish her good health

wilco

8-Sep-05/12:35 PM

I think it did affect us all...and I'm hesitant to say, but I think its true....on a much larger scale than even 9/11.

This is a better edit, although I did notice that in the last line, you got simgs instead of sings. Also, I'd love a little punctuation (a little pet peeve of mine).

Incidentally, The Scout seemed to strike people funny...I don't think most people really put any thought into it, as most thought that the Scout in the poem was a person...it wasn't. It can probably be interpreted in several ways, but the basic premise is that we fucked up. Be it in the fact that New Orleans was built below sea level, the fact that the levees weren't made like they should've been, that people just went completely apeshit minutes after the hurricane was over or any other number of things....the whole thing is..we fucked up as people.

BTW, none of us know anything of poems...if we did, we would be published and doing this for a living instead of posting on the Ranker.

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