I've strummed my last ballad you see At Big Momma's Brothel in Tennessee When the stage was rushed by sweet Susie Chee And her five hundred pounds of urgency My bass player fainted My drummer jumped ship The triangle player popped out his hip But I had been singing with my eyes closed I didn't see Susie; as she charged with that rose I heard screaming, and shouts As the front row recoiled I cracked open an eye To see the turmoil But it was too late Our Susie had leaped I was drenched by shadow As my manager weeped I gulped down a squeal, and said a quick prayer And the lord was listening, that day, I swear Cuz when Susie had landed, it wasn't on me She flattened some Asshat that got in for free She gazed up at me, all smiles (with that rose) And stated she "loved my poetry & prose" I said "Susie, well then this song's for you" That's when I took her backstage Where I knew all whales blew.