Replying to a comment on:

Walk The Boy To Circles (Villanelle) by horus8

Around the rug, I walk the boy The kitchen slants, the faucet drips Circles have never been so coy It's not a system, or some ploy This need to warm up his blue lips Around the rug, I walk the boy While the war outside may destroy My need to rock him to sleep, perhaps Circles have never been so coy My words, my love, are a poet's decoy To save the child that my mind whips Around the rug, I walk the boy. As sirens wail, and bombs deploy The mother slips out with a swish of hips Circles have never been so coy A young father with no milk, no joy In doing these laps, making these trips Around the rug, I walk the boy Circles have never been so coy.

Bhaskaryya 23-Dec-04/12:13 AM
Why don't you just drop the arrogance?? People have the right to comment what they think?? I didn't say your poem SUCKS. I liked it just fine, but I though it could have been improved. Anything wrong witrh improvements???

Isn't this what the comment box is for.. To leave your honest views?? I am not here to please your vanity or prick it either. I just told you what I honestly thought to be true. And besides, I have read much classier villanelles. I'd never accept it if you say PERHAPS and DRIPS are perfect rhymes.

Come and tear my work apart. I'd appreciate it. But please stop taking out your spite on me. I am here to improve my poetry,not to share kick ass poems.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001