Poor child.
Keep that placenta on.
It's the only stain defender you'll get
and you've already lost it.
Get all the beautysleep you can
because your mother's not Laura Ashley
and soon enough
you'll fall to the ugly floor.
Save your sneezes.
Save every one of them
in a rocket
so that maybe
some day
you can sneeze snot and mucous and phlegm
all over them
and leave this place.