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The Conqueror Worm (Sonnet) by zodiac - I've got a boat for brains: I'm wracked with storms:
This late-tequila evening in the dorms
has done me in, so neither soft nor firm
are all the bedroom's shadow-painted forms.
Unquiet ghosts, a veritable sturm
und drang dance 'round my head like leaves, like swarms
of those phantasmagoric pachyderms.
I'm not to blame! The Worm! That Conqueror Worm
unwinds, sinks, spirals, eyes me from a warm
translucent kind of hell. He is the germ
of my unrest and peace. I struggle, squirm,
and know then I am vaquished: Hail the Worm!
(The Conquering Worm!)
Come wrap me in your long, soft-tendriled arms
and keep me until morning safe from harm.
Up the ladder:
Trash Report
Down the ladder:
The Sparky
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.5
Posted: April 21, 2004 10:58 AM PDT; Last modified: April 21, 2004 12:48 PM PDTWeighted score: 6.8276463 Overall Rank: 354 Comments:
Zodiac, you are such a nitwit. Zoetrope is Francis Ford Coppolas (you probably have no idea who he is) on-line workshop for screenplays, flash fiction, poetry, flash fiction on and on. And as a matter of fact you smug child, I have been published several times, ever heard of NFG? didn't think so. grow up stop being such a little arse. And you are a fool if you don't think agents freqent these sites, obviously you are not a serious writer, just a poser.
1) Everyone knows who Francis Coppola is; he's a famous recluse who designs improbable gigantic flying machines.
2) Zoetrope's website (all-STORY.com) describes itself thusly: "In 1997, Francis Ford Coppola launched a magazine devoted to supporting the brightest young voices in fiction. In its short history, Zoetrope: All-Story has received every major short fiction award, including the National Magazine Award for Fiction..." Are you noticing the repetition of certain words? I am. 3) NFG is a crock. Even nentwined says so. 4) Ask yourself this question: Why in GOD'S NAME would an agent frequent a hack internet open-style poetry site when they've each got THOUSANDS UPON FUCKING THOUSANDS of hack budding poets breaking down their doors already, without having had to exert ANY EFFORT on their own parts? 5) Wait, here's another: Do you really believe having a 'literary agent' means shit? (A clue: No.) 6) Before you answer, let me point out the obvious to you: you don't have an agent yourself. In fact, aside from your knowledge of three online publications (one of which isn't a poetry publication) you don't know squat about the business of publishing poetry. That is all. You may be seated.
7) You said flash fiction twice.
8) And so what? Anyone can make decent-looking flash fiction. Here's one of mine: http://tinyurl.com/3dof7. 9) Too = adverb; To = preposition. Don't need an agent to figure that one out. 10) "Reading your comments is like listening to Elton John whistling Crocodile Rock through his toothgap while fellating me, Simon Cowell" - Simon Cowell. 11) I've decided you need a lesson. What say you to a spanking for every year of your naughty misspent life? Ready?...
You're gay.
why are you so obnoxious holdstill?
and why do you give high marks to the least adept poems?
this souns like something you wrote while on drugs.
It was while drunk on tequila, nincompoop. Thanks for the 5!
Could it be possible that zodiac was not on drugs when he wrote this but rather you were on drugs when you read it?
Zodiac, this is so weird. When did you write this? April 21, huh? I guess it must have been shortly before my Tribute To Edgar Allen Poe...that's a pretty fucking weird coincidence.
actually, Mezcal has the worm in it, not Tequila. other than that i enjoyed the poem until the last two lines, which came as a sudden shift. i don't mind a quick twist, but i liked where the poem was going rather than where it ended up.
Mezcal and tequila are 99% the same thing. When I was in Mexico the Mexicans I knew occasionally used 'tequila' describe both.
Simply the best thing you've ever fucking done.
Brilliant. Absolutely Memorable. I'll take it to my grave and I am grateful that I have seen it before I go there.
I enjoy the first line especially. The moody internal M's throughout the piece make it feel somewhat surreal.
However, I might add, it doesen't make a lot of sense; it doesen't have to though to be good.
Spreading Sturm und drang across two lines looks very poor, you ae breaking aconcept where no concept should be broken, still there is some nice imagery here, made me remember being an undergraduate.
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Stayed fairly iambic too - Sasha will still bitch (cuz he want to be your).