Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

To those that would teach poetry (Free verse) by INTRANSIT
I'm sorry teacher, To push me through a poem, To force me to write Is to hold a pistol, Its cold, relieving, barrelled end against my temple That I would forge you a sword to be used against me later, And I say this: Hold your flint-lock firmly and let fly.

Up the ladder: sad bastard
Down the ladder: The Slave

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 6.4
Weighted score: 5.166884
Overall Rank: 5053
Posted: January 23, 2004 1:19 PM PST; Last modified: March 10, 2005 12:13 PM PST
View voting details
The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:

thepinkbunnyofdoom

Comments:
[9] Caducus @ 195.92.168.178 | 24-Jan-04/3:48 PM | Reply
Love the notions of being who we ARE and not what others want us to be.

A real archers bowfinger to conformity.
[8] andrewjthomas @ 66.93.78.35 | 26-Jan-04/8:30 PM | Reply
nice "FU"
one note, "Its" instead of "It's"
[9] Goad @ 217.82.0.76 | 27-Jan-04/2:25 AM | Reply
Interesting, I don't read this as a FU at all, but rather expressing eagerness to learn and be pushed to learn even though it can be torturous. INTRANSIT?
[n/a] AuntyM @ 152.163.252.72 | 28-Jan-04/4:09 PM | Reply
I concur. Well put, Goed.
[n/a] AuntyM @ 152.163.252.198 > AuntyM | 28-Jan-04/4:12 PM | Reply
Goad
[7] nentwined @ 64.60.192.130 | 10-Mar-05/10:21 AM | Reply
It's->Its (confused me first read)


Interesting, though.

Not gelling for me.
[8] Dovina @ 12.72.6.133 | 10-Mar-05/12:09 PM | Reply
Why didn't you cahnge "it's" to "its" on this edit? It's been pointed out before. "forge you a sword" - don't get the connection. Otherwise good.
[n/a] INTRANSIT @ 64.12.116.138 > Dovina | 10-Mar-05/12:15 PM | Reply
Slipped right past me , that one. The forge thing is suggestive of " see I told you you could do it." The fact that I used -sword- seems cliche to me . Dunno.
[9] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 4.224.24.167 > Dovina | 11-Mar-05/4:13 PM | Reply
That I would make for you something, you will use to judge me later(Still refering to the poem writing). The gun itself is used as a Judgement(I.E. Grades).

Unless I misunderstand entirely.

<3 Jason
[6] crystal4 @ 65.32.226.123 | 10-Mar-05/1:10 PM | Reply
this is very good because it says what the person is thinking.
[9] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 4.224.24.167 > crystal4 | 11-Mar-05/4:08 PM | Reply
Its good because of more than just that. Look carefully, its actually quite a bold and beautiful statement.
[n/a] richa @ 81.178.193.41 | 10-Mar-05/2:32 PM | Reply
I'm having a bit of trouble with the metaphor here. The teacher is metaphorically holding a pistol to your head by forcing you to write. 'And then I would forge you a sword to be used against me later.' It is unclear why the effect of holding a pistol to your head would 'forge a sword' or how that sword could be used against you. The end is fine, although I missed that you wanted pushing to write first time (it seemed unexpected).
[n/a] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.100.138 > richa | 11-Mar-05/11:39 AM | Reply
See the answer to Dovina above and the comment by Goad. Though I do see the opener as kind of a hiccup.











[10] zodiac @ 212.118.11.13 | 11-Mar-05/9:54 PM | Reply
"To those that would teach poetry" should be "To those who would teach poetry". But I guess that's the whole point.
[n/a] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.100.138 > zodiac | 13-Mar-05/5:27 AM | Reply
Bingo. Someday I'll get the whole anthropomorphism thing. Thanks.
[7] nentwined @ 75.83.196.201 | 5-Mar-09/10:35 PM | Reply
relieving?

interesting piece.
[7] nentwined @ 75.83.196.201 > nentwined | 5-Mar-09/10:37 PM | Reply
kind of funny, kind of sad, I don't remember reading it before. But perhaps it's changed enough. :) I choose that.
369 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001