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Mermaid (Free verse) by lastobelus
In the morning, walking through bands of sun coming through the clouds, on sand walking towards the rocks with books and coffee held, walking slow, with slow looks at horizons and girls and circling birds, with a quiet mind awaiting coalescent words -- past pigeons preening and prancing for crumbs past the sunday preacher, past the bums on their benches, who all know me by name, past leyla dancing again for the same god she danced for yesterday and past the rock where I saw my mermaid last dark against the pale sky silhouetted plain as though she were only MY sky come to profane I see her, again. She pulls herself from water to rock, nails scribbling breaking on the wetted rock, water dribbling from salt-tortured hair, rough and tangled and from under at me her dark eyes angled. I see the sinews in her swarthy arms, tendons under dark and oily skin ripple and she beckons with her scrag-nailed hand and her scales grate in the sand. Dark scales, luminous and long shine paler where the rock has scraped them, rhine on the rock chafes her water belly, dries in rings on the burnt sugar skin of her human parts, lines the furrows on her face -- in air and sun she ever cries, in air too long she dies. With strong arms she strains to hold the taut points of her breasts from the harsh rock, fraught with mute desire she keens like hounds on a scent she leans against our restraints. The sea smell of her taints the air, her cloaca opens and closes and she draws me even in my revulsion she can cause me to come to her yearn for her burn for her. Her mouth opens, her pointed teeth glisten, head tilted against the sea wind I listen and she sings for me. Off the rocks of the cliffs it rings over me songs that aren't meant to be voiced in open air. Then she slithers, slides off the rock, back to her lair and the day withers and wanes -- What was not minutes but was hours, and she remains in the scribbled words in broken-spined notebooks that lay around me letting darkness surround me, I walk home through the empty park -- Dark, dark, dark and cruel her marque.

Up the ladder: Fishing Pole
Down the ladder: Windfall

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Arithmetic Mean: 8.222222
Weighted score: 6.611111
Overall Rank: 593
Posted: January 11, 2004 2:34 PM PST; Last modified: January 11, 2004 2:34 PM PST
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Comments:
[9] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.252.72 | 11-Jan-04/2:48 PM | Reply
People like you and middenHeap show up, and I feel flat out stepped on. *races toward liquor cabinet*
[n/a] middenHeap @ 217.226.30.158 > INTRANSIT | 11-Jan-04/2:50 PM | Reply
I am middenHeap. middenHeap is me. we have the same ip. oh how fickle this thing, identity.
[9] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.252.198 > middenHeap | 11-Jan-04/2:54 PM | Reply
I suspected. I need to fire my muse. or myself. I'm not sure which.
[10] zodiac @ 67.240.211.37 | 11-Jan-04/2:52 PM | Reply
Wow--who are you? And do you know they'll never let you publish stuff like this? The internet's the only place you can find good rhymes now. They *gestures OUT THERE* think we're crazy.
[8] little_big_nose @ 216.207.133.193 | 11-Jan-04/6:49 PM | Reply
it's awsome writing, but a little long-winded
[n/a] middenHeap @ 217.226.30.158 > little_big_nose | 11-Jan-04/6:56 PM | Reply
well yes you see that's part of the metaphor. this is clearly meta-poetry--lastobelus is just whining about his "muse"--and hence should have been mine. Mine! but I got the cherry blossoms, which I didn't deserve at all.
[8] little_big_nose @ 216.207.133.193 > middenHeap | 11-Jan-04/7:12 PM | Reply
You need help, get it. Remember that the goverment is here to help
[n/a] middenHeap @ 217.226.30.158 > little_big_nose | 11-Jan-04/7:30 PM | Reply
Aha, you're a REPUBLICAN anti-christ. I KNEW it.
[8] little_big_nose @ 216.207.133.193 > middenHeap | 11-Jan-04/7:37 PM | Reply
DEMOCRATIC anti-christ, republicans are evil. And as long as we are adding useless labels, i guess we could add wicked and addicted middle-fingered, doubble fisted, neurotic drug induced and chemically abused, genderbending freak, brain-dead supersonic fiend, prize winning drag queen...I love the Murderdolls
[n/a] middenHeap @ 217.226.30.158 > little_big_nose | 11-Jan-04/7:47 PM | Reply
yes, and you see the trick is, right after that moment when you (finally) realize someone was just jerking your chain, is to have that "aha!" moment and realize "I have CHAINS! and omigod they're BIG chains! No WONDER people are always jerking them"
[8] little_big_nose @ 216.207.133.193 > middenHeap | 11-Jan-04/7:55 PM | Reply
I am very sorry my my slur-spiting friend, but the only chain I have is the one on my wallet which has yet to be jerked. The chain is there to prevent the wallet from being stolen, much like your values have been stolen from promises and decrees from a dead god. And it's not 'omigod', it's 'oyourgod'.
[n/a] middenHeap @ 213.61.217.3 > little_big_nose | 12-Jan-04/1:12 AM | Reply
oh dear, I'm afraid our little spat must be dreadfully boring for our fellow wankers. To ameliorate that, shall we continue in limerick form? Right then, I'll start us off:

Little_Big_Nose & The Argument From Evil
------
There once was a little big nose
Who ever the question did pose
If there's a god,
Why'd he give me a rod
That's only as big as my toes?
[8] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.160.156 | 12-Jan-04/12:53 PM | Reply
A bit long.. alot of editing could be done (mostly minor tweaks allover) that could really improve this poem.

Blessed with eight.
[n/a] Goad @ 217.226.29.223 > SupremeDreamer | 31-Jan-04/4:43 AM | Reply
I would be more than happy to hear any specific suggestions you have.
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