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Jaded (Lyric) by Caducus
I am losing you slowly but surely, Or is it the other way round? Beginning to think you no longer know me, That your not there for me, And I’m feeling so lost wanting to be found. Once you would kiss me with conviction, Your hands would pull at my hair, Now all I feel is a sense of derision, Its as if you no longer care. (chorus) Your jealousy is torturous, Your trust in me has faded, And I hate why your so virtuous, Your envy greens now jaded. So my love, kiss me pull my hair, And let me freeze in your azure stare Act for a moment like you still care I know where we went wrong, But was too happy living a lie, I’m at my weakest when I come across strong, We made a nest but forgot how to fly. Feel so exhausted when we row, By dredging up the past, We’re ignoring right now. Its hard to weather your storms, And ignorance is not bliss, But I am the only one who mourns, Left emptier than your kiss. (repeat chorus)

Up the ladder: The Difference
Down the ladder: God is a Lady

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.7777777
Weighted score: 6.388889
Overall Rank: 793
Posted: July 25, 2003 3:48 AM PDT; Last modified: July 25, 2003 9:37 AM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 | 25-Jul-03/7:45 AM | Reply
Cad--the last line needs work. it should be stronger, especially after the tone of the song.
[n/a] Caducus @ 62.105.119.105 > <~> | 25-Jul-03/7:58 AM | Reply
Ok Z thanx for that I see that now reading it over. I have added 4 new lines to the end but can't help wondering if its more powerful without them, thus ending it at 'we're ignoring right now'.

Used to write tons of lyrics and its a bit of walk back to my past.
[n/a] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 | 25-Jul-03/8:09 AM | Reply
better, but i have to say that the thing that struck me most the first time through was her pulling on your hair. that would make for a more memorable chorus than jealousy. just my opiniom, though... :)
[7] walrus8 @ 195.157.153.253 | 25-Jul-03/9:04 AM | Reply
I think you should change the title: "How to Change an Old Man's Nappy, Part 1".
[8] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 | 25-Jul-03/11:40 AM | Reply
I dated a girl named Azure once, she was splendid.
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