Poemranker [Poem: you can't find me] [by daggatolar] Mon May 20 11:53:35 PDT 2024

you can't find me (Free verse) by daggatolar

deeper deep than the sea can reach down and yet my tears is not rain enough to mean to you i am in pain you are water down drown in rain so how can my own little lttle eye drops mean anything and i am not anything, the love you gave me once was everything life to me now you can't find me too down

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Up the ladder: The Velvet Purse of the Universe (The Witch of Raven St.)

Down the ladder: happy b'day maria

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)

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Arithmetic Mean: 2.6666667
Weighted score: 4.72186
Overall Rank: 11900

Posted: July 29, 2005 8:00 AM PDT; Last modified: July 29, 2005 8:00 AM PDT
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Comments:

[4] LilMsLadyPoet @ 205.188.116.69 | 31-Jul-05/7:26 AM | Reply

Check this over for spelling. I understand not using punctuation rather than using it in the wrong way...but this needs puntuaction to clear it up.

"and i am not

anything, the love you gave me once"
work on the places where you break...a break was not called for here. Work on the format. I like some of the runs of thought and wording...with some work this would be a good piece.

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