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Damned (Free verse) by darby pyn
My parallax disaster stutters loudly on my conscience. white collar misogynist with a permanent smile. never trust the teeth of a man with black eyes. I have no synergy with my reflection. what dreams may manifest quickly descends past the latitude of my reality into the surreal turbulence of an unstable mind. I’m afraid. I am losing my moral surplus coagulating to the texture of quicksand. being pulled in deeper everyday. numb inside. I wear a beautiful disguise fucking for affection but still feel no peace at climax. I try to hide but the cacophony in my head scrapes the calcium from my bones and I wilt. languishing in my defeat. a vertical deception. the functional dead. interaction is a pendulum. I feel nothing. this is the syntax of my demise. save the eulogy for the living.

Up the ladder: queen of the valley
Down the ladder: Dance With Me

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Arithmetic Mean: 3.5
Weighted score: 4.928861
Overall Rank: 9270
Posted: July 7, 2005 11:14 AM PDT; Last modified: July 7, 2005 11:14 AM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] Bankrupt_Word_Clerk @ 71.130.168.209 | 7-Jul-05/2:30 PM | Reply

not one of these lines produces any pictures or feelings in me. Mostly, I'm just confused.

for instance: what does hiding have to do with wilting?
[n/a] darby pyn @ 207.200.116.197 > Bankrupt_Word_Clerk | 7-Jul-05/3:17 PM | Reply
BWC I respect your writing. and you always seem sincere
with your questions so I'll try to explain.
the poem itself is about the movie "American psycho".
I do poems about movies alot. it's just something I
like to do."I try to hide but the cacophony in my head
scrapes the calcium from my bones and I
wilt". this means this person is going crazy.
the voices in his head so on and so on are wearing on
him he tries to hide by doing normal things
tries hobbies etc. but he's loosing the fight
his compulsion to kill is taking over. he is wilting
from strengh to fight these urges to become a killer.
[n/a] zodiac @ 212.118.19.3 > darby pyn | 10-Jul-05/10:00 PM | Reply
I don't think the psychotic compulsion is to kill; I think the compulsion is to see things dead. Discuss.
[n/a] darby pyn @ 207.200.116.197 > zodiac | 11-Jul-05/7:04 PM | Reply
it can be. but being you are the person
who causes that finality. and not just
getting satisfaction by looking he needs to do
you can't have one without the other.
my opinion only.
[7] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 | 7-Jul-05/2:33 PM | Reply
paralax stutters
a beautiful disguise
interaction is a pendulum
These are the good lines in my opinion.
[n/a] darby pyn @ 207.200.116.197 > Dovina | 7-Jul-05/3:04 PM | Reply
thank you dovina.
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