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Thereâs A Voice Deep Inside My Head (Free verse) by celticskatermatt1 Deep, deep within my head,
Is a voice chatting to me while Iâm in bed.
Iâm listening to the voice
The tiny voice inside my head
Telling me it is full of dread.
The dread inside my head.
Itâs all a mistake
To listen to that voice
But I guess I donât have a choice
But deep beneath my skin
The voice whispering again
To show me what to do,
To start fresh, to start anew.
To start a new life with a new hope
With new people to interlope
My head is spinning fast
I hope the voice will last
Deep, deep within my head.
Up the ladder:
leaping into loss
Down the ladder:
The Pig Roast
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.714286
Posted: November 10, 2004 8:37 PM PST; Last modified: November 10, 2004 8:37 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.4610424 Overall Rank: 2871 Comments:
[6]
sliver @ 63.190.80.133
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10-Nov-04/11:43 PM
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Reply
If this is what you want do say, that's o.k, But re-write, again and again. Where to begin? In the first stanza, using dread, and then beating it 'till it's dead, No. Buy a Thesourus, find a chorus, and next time... try not to bore us. But KEEP WRITING.
Little said for so many words.
thanks for the advice
See, this is a perfect example of why you should be paying attention to that giant black cock up your ass instead.
All the lions are clawing at your guts right now, because they can't stand the fact that your work is more sincere than theirs. Thanks for remaining Un-pretentious. Hopefully they will start to pay more attention to the cocks up THEIR asses!!!
awsome poem dude. you rock, see you in marine science
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