I never forget my Travel Buckaroo; at this precise moment it is wedged up my bum so that when the inevitable guff builds up, it gets trapped in my bow'ls and acts as not only a personal floatation device (I can only assume this is what spiders do when you try to flush them) but also as a temporary internal central heating system. I have accumulated almost a day's worth of guff and it is almost enough to lift me clean out of the water, zeppelin-like. Right now I should be safe, so long as...what's this? It...it's slipping...I can see bubbles...I can't hold it in! No! SHARK DOWN! SHARK DOWN!
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