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The Negro (Free verse) by Everyone

He toils; Gnarled hands grope the tilth, Baked-black hide caked in filth: He's soiled. He bolts; O'er the fence, thro' Master's grounds, Straight into the waiting hounds: He halts. He wails; Bulging lips swell with rage, Thrashing limbs to break his cage: He fails. He stoops; White palms clenched about the bars, As Master's whip inflicts new scars: He droops. He toils; Gnarled hands grope the tilth, Baked-black hide caked in filth: He's soiled.

Fear of Garbage 22-Apr-04/7:40 AM
nice, but I do have a couple problems. Some of the rhymes sound forced and the ending is nothing special.
however, that jolting sensation? Where you smoothly rhyme two long lines, then go abruptly short? Don't change that.




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