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#12 (Haiku) by mikejedw

elm, undulating beneath the over lit sky-- Jersey City night

nentwined 19-Apr-04/10:33 PM
over-lit, I think.

doesn't do enough for me, though it does seem to be a start, the more I ponder on it. I think undulating may be less descriptive of the jersey city night than befits its number of syllables. But I really don't have any suggestions--just my reaction.




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