nentwined12 Apr 2002

I like bits and pieces of this poem immensely, if those could just be picked out and put in a proper frame...

"Your eyes are the eeriest shade of pure pale green"

actually... I really *don't* like "your eyes are more beautiful than the universe" -- too simple, too easy, doesn't say anything. Then the next stanza seems to fumble and not really connect to the end of the poem.

The end (you're shattered glass ... if only I could be so luck) I like.

I just need a better understanding of the situation, the middle needs... otherness and explanation, for me.