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Rough draft of a poetry manifesto (Sonnet) by zodiac

[For anyone's use:] To our old nemesis: we’ve taken your comments under consideration, and determined your services are no longer wanted. The praise was nice when it came; there were days we believed in you – too much, and we were shaken too much by your censure later. Now we’re firm in our request that you go – and we will amaze you soon, you stuffy graybeards, when we waken to our full power, and like olden Sherman set this dusty bucolic landscape ablaze. In short: you can save your never-ending sermon, save your judgments, your hoary purblind gaze. For we will not be changing our ways. We will not be changing our ways.

ggawrysi 11-Apr-04/10:19 PM
i like how most of your lines ended with a verb. at the same time, it was difficult and choppy to move from one line to the next mid-sentence with such brick like words. if the language was not as gruff and more melodic it would have flowed much better. the structure took me away from the content, causing me to lose your point. after re-reading it, i did enjoy the poem's notion of reform and losing older ways of life.




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