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Shampoo and Condition (Free verse) by Luzr

The Razor catches on vomit dribble dried on my chin The tylenol's sitting next to my cup of rum doctored coffee Eyes straining from absorbing the daily comics Ears tuning into the catchy song sung to drag me awake Feet shuffling back and forth toward the shower Water beading across my head drumming small shouts of shock A mad dash to get dressed to impress Arms doing as they do best Reaching across the house in slight haste Cancer rushing to take my breath Punch the clock and walk to the back Push a pen across paper and talk til I'm sick to death Get out to my car and call up memories of friends See what I've missed, then drive across town 3 times To play the same old drinking games Talk til I've said whatever it takes Push the bull, til the glass breaks Whatever is left standing better than shattered Take home to be beaten and battered Then dump it outside where it belongs The satisfaction substaining me until I wake up in the middle of the night Just until I remember Brew a fresh pot of rum doctered coffee Rinse Wash Repeat

zodiac 2-Apr-04/9:58 AM
Regarding the 'point', consider this: If I were such a drunken fuck-up as the narrator of this story, I probably wouldn't read poetry or have the self-awareness to recognize the narrator's situation as being like to my own (or to care if I did.) Ditto for you as writer. So this poem could mean nothing to an actual drunk living a boring self-destructive life; he would most likely not change his behavior in the slightest, even if he did happen to read it. Nor could it mean anything to me as a non-self-destructive non-boring reader, except to make me feel a little good and self-righteous about not being a boring drunk, which I don't really care for in a poem - and which is a false self-righteousness, anyway, since it's not a real drunk I'm feeling better than but a creation of your non-drunk imagination. A simple way to fix this is to position your actual self in the poem watching the drunk. Then you don't have to deal with the problem of the drunk's self-awareness and we can learn all kinds of interesting things about you which aren't fictional - that you're the kind of person who would write about a boring drunk, to say the least. And it would necessarily be true and believable.




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