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Darkness Falls On Tenement Twelve (Free verse) by Mona Lisa

The world orbits me here Hourly, once a day on a concrete plateau. Camouflaged on concrete I can turn gold The sky is never uniformed and each time I feel nothing I climb to the top of tenement twelve Lay on top of caged vents To breathe, feel, and see everything. I went to search for myself but only found myself losing my mind, I am the sound of the ocean you hear in shells Who can often be heard but never seen, Isn’t it absurd how I live is not how I dream? I will be magnificent in my own way And express myself by being quiet I have always had something yet nothing to say I do not deny it, For my inner darkness Never seems to set Only as a child did I know day.

Shuushin 31-Mar-04/5:37 PM
I will like this so much more when it has the word "concrete" in it only once.

Watch your preposition use; too much - especially with so many conjunctions (but/yet).

Pretty solid sentiment just the same though.




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