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Brethren (Free verse) by richa

The trick of the dandelion clock: To disperse in the wind, grey seeds to interchange like girls, plain as a sugar's beet, that dance, each hiding a Newton.

zodiac 11-Mar-04/5:08 PM
Go ahead and laugh. There were apples in this poem before. I liked them. You may think the image was a little obvious, but I don't. Or, why not put them in edgewise, like 'apple-cheeked girls,' or 'to bob and interchange,' or something such? And if I'm so out-of-line here, why is everyone stumbling on the Newton, huh? Besides, the line 'that dance' is way too short. It could stand the extra syllables.

I'm on your side here, man.




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