poemranker ::Replying

ReplyTo a comment on Woman in the purple cotton jacket(repaired) by INTRANSIT.

zodiac6 Mar 2004

"As I watched her, I looked down at my right
hand holding a forkfull of food.
My left hand was circling my cup of tea.
I looked back at her and wondered why."

These lines are awful. Just awful. The rest isn't half-bad; just change the end to anything - anything at all! - other than looking at your own hands and wondering why. PLEASE!!