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youre there... (Free verse) by PhSbLoNdE569

youre always stuck there, in the farthest corner of my mind in that shadowy place, where only i go, where no one else can find i go there in my darkest moments, when i need 2 be alone its alwayz closed to people i dont want knowing, its like my keep keep away zone no one knows i love you, they have no idea i care they dont even know that i know about you, having the same feelings there you said it first, then i sort of caught on, then i knew it could be real except for the fact that she loved you first, so now im tryin to keep up my shield although i told you, and you know the boundaries, seen as she is my really close friend ill love you today, even though you may not, ill have feelings until the very end

dodgersfan2 3-Mar-04/6:39 PM
don't mean to come off as very critical but do you know what an apostrophe is? youre, ill, etc...they all have apostrophes. also, "alwayz" is spelt with an 's' somewhere in there.

"when i need 2 be alone" to

the content is there, but maybe try and fix some grammatical errors, because this is just like reading an AIM conversation, without the reader's response.

-8- because the poem, though unoriginal (horus8 will tell you that i have no right to say that), is still well put together and communicated






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