Replying to a comment on:

Early Morning (Free verse) by fevriere

This is how God feels insulated warmth Thickly shaking off dream feathers Blessed timeless blisses Yesterday is an unread chain my skin illiterate & numb. Hungry & dim. Cotton womb aglow insolar Do I dream, wake, wonder? Time returns. The senseless tick Of the clock, is a sequence, a sentence. Bit, bit, I recall The feeling of living skin skin I live in. In the record of my flesh, I find yesterday. I mourn the ignorance of bodilessness. If only I was a feathered angel I was a dream

zodiac 2-Mar-04/12:18 PM
Besides - do you really think we're all so dense that we can't figure out what words to emphasize while reading a poem? Perhaps you should spell them all phonetically, too, in case we poetry readers have trouble rendering all these strings of characters into meaningful sounds. What's more, take a look at the (one) word you arbitrarily accentuated. Feathers? The technique you apply to this poem is mostly leaving words uncapitalized where they should be (ie, insulated, timeless, and blisses.) Is that to say you think these words should be unaccented? Or - wait, here's an idea - maybe you just didn't think about it that hard.

That's not to say this isn't one of the top, say, two poems on the 20 most recent today. I really like several parts of it. So does the fact that I'm getting all this critical mileage out of something so completely unrelated to your meaning give you even a moment's pause? It probably should.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001