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Early Morning (Free verse) by fevriere

This is how God feels insulated warmth Thickly shaking off dream feathers Blessed timeless blisses Yesterday is an unread chain my skin illiterate & numb. Hungry & dim. Cotton womb aglow insolar Do I dream, wake, wonder? Time returns. The senseless tick Of the clock, is a sequence, a sentence. Bit, bit, I recall The feeling of living skin skin I live in. In the record of my flesh, I find yesterday. I mourn the ignorance of bodilessness. If only I was a feathered angel I was a dream

zodiac 2-Mar-04/12:09 PM
My suggestion: get rid of either 'wonder' or 'wander'.

PS regarding the punctuation/capitalization/etc, it makes you look like you don't really know what you're doing, whatever your content/meaning/etc suggests to the contrary. YOU know you know what you're doing, but seeing this I think, hm, kinda amateurish. You might well say, fuck you, I'm going to be immortal whatever I do with my grammar, like Blake - but that's crap. At the very least, get famous first by writing semi-normally punctuated/etc poems, and THEN turn all the crazy meaningless punctuationless/etc crap on, if you still find it so cool.

Oh, and go ahead, attack me on this. I know you want to. Everyone does.




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