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Blue Fuckin' Moon (Free verse) by lastobelus

Then he's got his god-red little footsies hanging off the dock smelling out the little fishies staring at the moon. Stone-black caught in silhouette, go go go amber glint, we are swimming 'round a bottle, laughing TV commercial Faulkner doom, pass the pass the back 'n' forth ass, the peach-girl throat caught in sudden beauty-- ok, laugh the random fractal beauty of it all: there it is, the sweet liquor moon, same one 200-odd nights a year, 4 billion years running. Crystalline, her sweet pie lips in big O, falls off the dock and disturbs the great white swath into a zillion tiny ripples and I laugh a strong liquor gurgle into the dying throat of the world. Crystaline floats away on her back and the moon shadow goes still again-- then Louie waves his "god my damn feet hurt" tootsies in the water, playing a little game with the blue fuckin' moon.

lastobelus 5-Feb-04/10:34 AM
Thanks!

"go, go, go amber glint" is referring to the advertising product shot version of the liquor they're drinking. If I introduce the bottle first, then would that make sense?

Faulkner's not tossed in by accident, the feel of this (at least in my head when I wrote it) is derived from parts of the sound and the fury (which has influenced me more than any other single thing I've ever read). So I was thinking about having the narrator imagine Caddy skinny-dipping with them, and quentin sitting by himself on the dock watching resentfully.

I can work up the part that you say loses you more I think -- I just want to evoke flashes of images of passing the bottle of liquor back and forth, the girls gamboling in the water & over everything the full moon. And I wanted the narrator to come across as pretty fucking drunk.




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