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bluebells and none (Free verse) by richa

It is when the last badger hole has sunk down, and the fetch of a crows stare has hit on bark that we would pinch from the wild bluebells, nipping their stems and telling ourselves that it was not stealing we had no way of knowing.

zodiac 3-Feb-04/11:43 AM
I don't see the tense one. Telling is a subordinate clause that could be represented something like: "and, telling ourselves that it was not stealing, we had know way of knowing." Also, the time of year that still occurs "when the badger hole etc..." is when you used to pinch bluebells. That also works for me. 'Crows' should be 'crow's'. I don't know what is meant by the fetch of the stare hitting on bark - or, at least, it doesn't call a season to my mind. Crows are around all year here, so is bark. Other than that I think this is fine and a great publishable poetic voice. I see this hitting pulpwood a lot sooner than some other stuff here.




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