Poemranker [Replying] Tue May 07 12:00:46 PDT 2024

Replying to a comment on:

Diminishing (Concrete) by <~>

For this one it's Jesus, for that one, hate For some it's a drink, for others it's H One draws a card, another rolls dice He's got his speedboat, she drips with ice For her it's him, for him it's speed Each is itching to sate a need She thinks she'll never be thin He's getting off at the gym This boy can't get enough That girl likes it real rough Some seek out a fight What I do is write I mark it down I question each Have you found What you seek? You try, And so Do I

<~>

12-Aug-02/9:47 AM

dear p&k, a concrete poem looks like what it is. in this case, the poem is titled 'diminishing.' it diminishes in form, both visually and in beats per couplet (10,10, 9,9, 8,8, etc.). there are other ways in which the title may be interpeted as relates to the subject matter. so, to answer your question, yes, it is a triangle, and it is one on purpose. i like to think that i spend some time crafting my poems before i submit them for review. i want the reader to think about what he/she reads/sees/hears. many of my poems are better when read aloud than when scanned, due to the alliteration and assonance i employ. horus8's are best when he speaks them--go to his website and see for yourself. they are immediate and personal; many of the rankers here seem to miss that when reading only his words in plain text on this site. it's a limitation of the form. granted, you have to look pretty hard sometimes to find a meaning in some of the stuff on this site, but many times it's well worth the effort. i read your work, and hey, it's great that you can rhyme, but poetry is much, much more. check it out sometime.

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