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Kernel of truth (Free verse) by annabellee

It’s the force of pressure Makes her escape. To seek freedom To burn, Like a husk Before embers. She melts in the flow of pure enjoyment submerged in it, Like a handmaiden of power: an accidental desire, breaking down ideas ruled by none save creation to grasp herself from the observer. Should you bind her without question she will buck and kick, Like a mare In confinement Of a cell she cannot see. She knew what to decline There is no prison In her core: She is free

god'swife 28-Jan-04/11:43 AM
More focus please. i lose my way from 'burning embers...' to 'Should you bind her...' can you stay with one metaphor, or at least build a segue? You also say 'ruled by none...to grasp herself from the observer' that makes no sense. also 'She knew what to decline' seems inappropriate for someone who's being threatened by imprisonment. It's all over the place. Focus.




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