zodiac26 Jan 2004

Okay, I appreciate the situation you're in. Let me try to give you a suggestion without freaking you out. I get the feeling you're trying to write poetry that sounds like poetry. Do you understand what I'm saying? You might feel like it won't be poetry unless it's... well, poetic. Unless it uses a kind of diction and phrasing that is like what you imagine is in other poetry. This is bad. I'm not saying you should write stuff that looks like mine (which is really mostly bad prose with some clever slant rhymes,) but you should approach poetry writing with the idea that if you've ever ever EVER EVER EVER EVER heard a phrase used before, then you should never ever use it. Understand? Poetry is the truest form for expressing things originally, and the thing that kills it (see crystal swift and others here) is when your reader thinks you're not being original. Other people here will say it's a bad idea to read other poetry. I say go ahead, so you'll get an idea of what NOT to say - what's already been said. If you don't know what I'm talking about, start with your first line. Have you ever heard someone say that before? Yes, of course. So think of a new way to say it. And go on from there, line by line.

Step two: line breaks (ie, where you hit ENTER) in poetry aren't just for the end of phrases (which is what you have here.) Okay, they can be. But they're not usually. Change it up so some of your thoughts end in the middle of lines, so some thoughts are broken into little parts, each of which (as you get better) has a chance for having its own meaning.

Step three: PUNCTUATE. To most readers a line break isn't going to mean a period. In idea of enjambment means that it's traditional now to read through a break onto the next line (ie, 'take you from me my heart was made, etc.) Put in periods, commas, like you're writing prose. And say 'because' instead of 'cuz'.

Is that enough for a start?