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Captain Cannibal (Free verse) by Lenore

Murder! Have you ever heard the like As they always do in stories of a shipwreck found at night? Where survivors are floating for days on a raft; I remember the ghastly bits on the mast Where the last surviving sailor had helped eat the whole crew; He claimed he was the captain it was a good joke too, Depends on who’s the victim; The point of view counts for a heap in such things, You’d laugh yourself sick to know what it brings Starvation holds water better than your boat, When every plump and tender sailor keeps your stomach afloat No roast albatross for dinner For they gave you the slip, Your only choice left, Potluck or the dip All that last night, He sailed upon sluggish water, Covered with rotting flesh, Rank and stagnant pools of seamen Whispered by ghosts of dead comrades Carried on moonlit currents, All the water black with blood and shadow, Drifting westward homeward bound He came so near to broken, but his soul would not sink down Though he killed them as they lay there, And gnawed upon their bones, The tide of might had risen and brought him safely home

zodiac 26-Jan-04/9:02 AM
Without going to far into our oh-so-protected details of educational background and profession, let me just tell you that if I miss the 'point,' a whole lot of people are going to miss it too. Sorry to sound so damn stuck-up. And you don't know who 'people like me' are. By the way, I feel forced into being entirely critical, which I didn't intend. "Starvation holds water better than your boat," is really good. The rhyme and rhythm are good throughout. I really like the scansion of the lines and a lot of the images. I think Captain Cannibal is a silly name, but you can pull it off (Lord knows there be sillier names here.) If the meaning is some 'Alive'-type you-have-to-eat-to-live crap, you would do well to consider adding something more. That's all.




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