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His Master's Jodhpurs (Free verse) by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.

Clenched about his Master's thighs So snug, so tight, a handsome prize Jodhpurs there, to rival any Woven by a Spinning Jenny In the heart of green Kilkenny Alone by night, while household sleeps Above the stairs, a servant creeps For there to don the Jodhpurs proud Pretending he were so endowed Though knowing well 'twas not allowed A butler he, though filled with malice For drink he does, from silken chalice And dressing up, his sinful prank To dare outdo a butler's rank Without the grace to take a spank As full moon shines, above the moors And down upon his Master's drawers Where butler snatches at the handle And in stupor, drops his candle Then freezes to avoid the scandal A sleeping Gent, one dare not stir Lest his wrath thou wouldst incur But stir he does, and with a roar Spies butler sneaking t'ward the door And Jodhpurs there, upon the floor A mortal sin, a butler's worst And ever shamed, and ever cursed This servant, whipped with rod and cane Does bleat and whimper, all in vain As Master strikes him once again His beating, though, has just begun For where the Spinning Jenny spun We watch him weaving Jodhpurs many And earning not a single penny In the heart of green Kilkenny

Everyone 23-Jan-04/8:42 AM
CHAPTER XXV

IN WHICH THE READER SHALL FIND LITTLE TO DO WITH THE STORY, AND MAY, THEREFORE, SKIP

Imagine the look of sheer terror on my stupid face as I opened my post this morning. I say 'this morning', when really it was more like 'late afternoon', having spent the night before eating the new Walker's Chicken Tikka Masala flavoured crisps, and having been woken, most improperly, at noon, by a bedder who does not fully comprehend her lowly place in this world. Thus roused, I whittled away the early hours of the afternoon drinking coca-cola, scoffing Sainsbury's Frosted Flakes, chuckling at Matthew's comment on 'Broken', and painfully lamenting the rather paltry number of posts my work is attracting of late. It was only because I had to return a DVD that was two days overdue that I eventually oozed out of my bedchamber and felt my way to the Porter's Lodge. There I found a pouch. However, it was not empty: it was quite, quite full.

Therein, to my delight, a treasured text with such whimsical chapter titles as: CONCERNS ITSELF MAINLY WITH A HAT, THE ONE-LEGGED SOLDIER, and, best of all, HOW I TALKED WITH A MADMAN IN A WOOD BY MOONLIGHT. Truely a most exceptional find.

Should you ever feel the need to have it back, I would gladly reluctantly return it.

As Ever,

Epsom Brown




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