Everyone23 Jan 2004

CHAPTER XXV

IN WHICH THE READER SHALL FIND LITTLE TO DO WITH THE STORY, AND MAY, THEREFORE, SKIP

Imagine the look of sheer terror on my stupid face as I opened my post this morning. I say 'this morning', when really it was more like 'late afternoon', having spent the night before eating the new Walker's Chicken Tikka Masala flavoured crisps, and having been woken, most improperly, at noon, by a bedder who does not fully comprehend her lowly place in this world. Thus roused, I whittled away the early hours of the afternoon drinking coca-cola, scoffing Sainsbury's Frosted Flakes, chuckling at Matthew's comment on 'Broken', and painfully lamenting the rather paltry number of posts my work is attracting of late. It was only because I had to return a DVD that was two days overdue that I eventually oozed out of my bedchamber and felt my way to the Porter's Lodge. There I found a pouch. However, it was not empty: it was quite, quite full.

Therein, to my delight, a treasured text with such whimsical chapter titles as: CONCERNS ITSELF MAINLY WITH A HAT, THE ONE-LEGGED SOLDIER, and, best of all, HOW I TALKED WITH A MADMAN IN A WOOD BY MOONLIGHT. Truely a most exceptional find.

Should you ever feel the need to have it back, I would gladly reluctantly return it.

As Ever,

Epsom Brown