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(Come find me) (Free verse) by zodiac

Come find me some chalk-white-sky morning, where I’ve been biding my time, a fallow field – I can grow a tree as well as the next man. I’m a crop of mushrooms, blindly waiting my birth, and sick of hiding – Come find me, in my horse-eaten hill-pasture – come! pull up the ground with your tunneling fingers; remind me why I’ve saved you the power of finding, and for me only the frailty of needing to be found. Come find me! For that night I rear up alone out of the dank debris of my underground labor, spreading upon the fescue my great irregular limbs – before and behind me, colossal, wet, and grotesque – you Will wish you’d come when I asked you. And you will not be dealt with kindly. And no one is coming to your rescue.

richa 18-Jan-04/5:28 AM
It is not just about getting it. From the first image of mushrooms I got it. You could have stopped there.

However you carried on and tried to build up a picture which is good. Unfortunately there were too many metaphors pulling the reader about.

Personally I like this and applaud the imagination. But you have to be wary that to get anywhere you will encounter poetry purists who insist on better organisation.

What goad says is correct, and comes from himself spending months being flogged in the eratosphere.




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