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Fake Happiness (Free verse) by WithoutLife

I look happy and joyful, But the look in my eyes shows pain. You hear a contagious laugh, But I sob in silence. The smell of my lotion fills the room, But it is to cover the scent of showering tears. Friends enjoy the sweet snacks of our get together, But numbness has seized my taste buds. I fool you with my warmth, But then you touch my ice cold hands. My secret is out

Everyone 11-Jan-04/1:25 AM
Of course I can relate to being unhappy, you boob. Every human being can. Teenagers on the whole aren't any more unhappy than adults on the whole. The only difference is that, while most adults can pull themselves together no matter how awful they feel, most teenagers instantly collapse into self-pity, write a few lines of careless, unpracticed verse about their emotions, post it on a public web site, and call it a poem.

That teenager gets very upset when someone criticises his poem for not being poetry, because he thinks poetry is just writing about your feelings, when it isn't: it's writing about anything you like, but with careful attention to the use of language. "Who are you to judge what is poetry and what is not?" Look it up in a fucking dictionary, or, you know, read some actual real published poetry.

I'm not criticising anyone for being an "amateur". I don't know why you can't understand that. There's nothing shameful or wrong about being inexperienced. But there is something wrong with taking a totally wrong-headed approach to poetry, which is what Blindpoetry and chums are doing.

One more thing: about "constructive criticism". I don't know what you think it is, but I'll tell you what I think it is: Criticism that tells someone where they're going wrong, and what they might do instead. You know, like what I've been doing. In conclusion, you can go suck a fuck, Elizabeth.




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