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Fake Happiness (Free verse) by WithoutLife

I look happy and joyful, But the look in my eyes shows pain. You hear a contagious laugh, But I sob in silence. The smell of my lotion fills the room, But it is to cover the scent of showering tears. Friends enjoy the sweet snacks of our get together, But numbness has seized my taste buds. I fool you with my warmth, But then you touch my ice cold hands. My secret is out

MidnightMoonlight 10-Jan-04/9:40 AM
Everyone, who are you to judge what is poetry and what is not? You are not a poetry god, you do not know everything. In fact, you know nothing. Obviously, you don't know what it's like to be a teenager, or don't remember.(In other words, you must be pretty old) You may call it angst, but sometimes it can just be downright painful.

Also,this is more aimed towards people who feel that they are being fakes,feigning happiness when in reality they're just depressed. I know this, seeing as I'm one of those people. Maybe you think it's horrible, because you can't relate to it.

You are being entirely too harsh. This may not be something by Robert Frost, or e.e.cummings, but that doesn't make it horrible. She is an amateur.And I don't say that in a mean way, only in the true sense. Everyone has to start somewhere, and this is a good beginning. I'm sure your first few works weren't a masterpiece, therefore you shouldn't expect everyone else's to be. And while constructive criticism is helpful, what you're doing is just making her feel like she'll never want to write again. So back the fuck off.




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