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Fake Happiness (Free verse) by WithoutLife

I look happy and joyful, But the look in my eyes shows pain. You hear a contagious laugh, But I sob in silence. The smell of my lotion fills the room, But it is to cover the scent of showering tears. Friends enjoy the sweet snacks of our get together, But numbness has seized my taste buds. I fool you with my warmth, But then you touch my ice cold hands. My secret is out

Blindpoetry 9-Jan-04/9:33 PM
....Your words hurt me...

...I am not trying to accomplish entertaining anyone except myself and whoever it is for... I simply post so I could get critisized and work on what is hurting my poetry. Obviously, its clear you hate it because it sounds like a novel? or it just sucks to no end? ... and i was half-way joking - and you are partially right. But without meaning, what is poetry? just some little MEANINGLESS talent you have? .. something that you write that doesn't express any of your feelings? You just care about how it is written and how it sounds? True, you do need good grammar, but you also need feelings. without feelings, it is meaningless. Why start a fight? Why say fuck a million times to act tough against me? I'm only 13, trying to improve my writing so I can give them to my love, or keep in my secret stash of "feelings"...

...why say thanks? I'm going to keep posting.




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