Poemranker [Replying] Mon May 06 22:52:04 PDT 2024

Replying to a comment on:

I tell you secrets behind closed doors. I tell you I think that life is a bore. You preach to me like some small child. I am wrong, you say. Life is still good. God will help you. I laugh at you, and you frown. Really? Well, where was your God when my innocence died? All those years ago. Still a child. Where was your God then to protect me? Obviously he was too busy to help... Me. Your God is a lie! Your God is a fake! Will you now burn me at the stake? For telling you the truth. Ah, truth! Do you get it now? Your God never cared! Your God was never real! Understanding like a shot from a gun.

Don-Quixote

7-Jan-04/6:50 AM

Well, sorry for getting your gender wrong..

To that persons ideal of their god? wtf? Every religion/person has their little variations on their "ideal" concerning God... But those two lines, no matter what, is bashing God...

Unless the reader in question agree's that God is a lie/fake.

And no, you never said you were molested as a child, but fair12 DID claim that..

Perhaps I'm wrong, but this part of your poem clearly relates to faith12, whether you were molested or not:

"Well, where was your God when my innocence died?
All those years ago.
Still a child."

I never named what killed your innocence, so I haven't misinterpreted your poem at all.

Also, you did deny gods existence in your poem:

"Your God was never real!"

Look, its obviouse that your playing this VERY safe.. PC Damage control. It doesn't do any good to deny that you bashed god and denied/discredited his existence, specially since the poem proves that you have.

The purpose of your poem has no real relation to what you claim:

"Contents of this poem are for those who feel that they must
push thier beliefs onto others in an attempt to make thier
logic appear concrete."

Since the poem cleary conveys a personal issue with god.

As for constructive criticism? Your poem is beyond help, if you ask me, the only way to improve it? Is to rewrite the entire thing.

Do yourself a favor: when you plan to bullshit us? make sure the bullshit makes sense. (Or atleast make it so we can understand that "blab" of yours...)

And honestly now? No one is really suffering here.. or atleast I hope no one takes the internet that seriously to the point of suffering when someone makes a blunt comment against their religion. That would definately be reason to consider "getting a life".

Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry

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