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The burlesque circus clown [revised] (Free verse) by Don-Quixote

Corrupted and profane is he the poet undone; a sly blue collar comic whose voice raves in assorted tongues. With vigor he flouts the sapless and those willing to oppose him. A buffoon in the burlesque circus is he the poet undone. A vicious Hydra in the freak show is he the poet undone. Proud and stubborn in his arrogance, he rises up before the morning sun; mask painted bright before the show has begun- waiting to be revealed as he the poet undone. Resented or acclaimed it matters not, because when the charade ends everyone will leave undone- exposed by the light of dusk before a smiling jester; the fool who has won, masked before the setting sun.

SupremeDreamer 6-Jan-04/10:25 AM
I've recited it out loud, but haven't been able to spot what needs tweaking.

Since I wrote it, I read/recite it in a way that sound correct to my eyes/ears- so theres no way I can detect the faults that you've come across. ;/

If it isn't too much trouble, could you point out what you feel needs tweaking and give a short explaination why? (Am I a demanding jackass or what? then again I've been alot more annoying in the past..)

I'd appreciate it, thanks.




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