SupremeDreamer6 Jan 2004

I've recited it out loud, but haven't been able to spot what needs tweaking.

Since I wrote it, I read/recite it in a way that sound correct to my eyes/ears- so theres no way I can detect the faults that you've come across. ;/

If it isn't too much trouble, could you point out what you feel needs tweaking and give a short explaination why? (Am I a demanding jackass or what? then again I've been alot more annoying in the past..)

I'd appreciate it, thanks.