Poemranker [Replying] Thu Nov 21 10:34:38 PST 2024

Replying to a comment on:

It is with neither the symmetry of a wind facing rock, nor the art of a half-formed thought that you stand miles from us. You don't hold in your hand a butterfly cabbage white and let go, knowing your grasp is not waning. You just know that the still- water skies cut by its wings number more if not for you.

richa

6-Jan-04/8:07 AM

The first verse is what the wise are not. That the wise are not beautiful (the symmetry) as nature (the action of wind shaping a rock). Neither is being wise dynamic or artistic, (the half formed thought). Nor a greater grasp (agility and mental grasp). Just knowing a little about life and time - a perspective.

The communication breakdown was a theme in the first version. That the young have all the beauty and energy, but the old are in possession of the reason this is important. (like shaws 'youth is wasted on the young' quote).

The images I choose are not part of the plot of the poem but are part of the symbolism of the environment, the mood. Cabbage white is a butterfly specie, and is used to give a mood of peace, innocence, shortness of life.

'the uneven lines of every faked smile' was descriptive of a wise mans face (social intelligence). Faked smiles are less symmetrical because of the dominance of one hemisphere of the brain involved in faking. The line was a kind of play on orwells 'when you are forty you have the face you deserve' the idea that you can see the smile lines and sunk brows from your life.

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