-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.6 Aug 2002

Who said there was anything wrong with it? It's just that glamourising it doesn't seem to be very useful or poetic. It's part of the failing of humans that sometimes they get into a state where they rely on one person for happiness, and while this may be an interesting subject to write poetry about, your poem seems to be simply saying that such a state exists, in a fairly obvious way. Moreover you seem to be glad that you are in this state, and while this gladness may be a fundamental feature of the state, and therefore necessarily included in any poem which is written from the viewpoint of someone in the state, all the gladness seems to add is an impression of surrender and weakness. All I'm saying is this: if I had written a poem about being in this state, I would have at least made some reference to the fact that it's an inherently displeasing state when one neutrally observes it - it seems clearly unpleasant to be reliant on someone else for happiness; since you didn't, I wonder what you're trying to achieve.