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Regrets, No More (Lyric) by writteninskin

set to spin infinitely a world of past and future mysteries. wrapped up tears of sorrow, wilting as my life is just beginning. no more does distraction kill me as I search for love, descending deeper into sinful dreamings: regrets, no more, i have within me. when one time i was forgiving all my error, misbehaving; a child in despair and needing love to keep me from deceasing. but no longer do i need to be given pain with great deceiving. now i know of true love's healing. now i know that they deceived me. now i know the truth in hiding. love is not meant for decieving. love is not a sinful dreaming. i have known love from decievers but true love's meant for true believers. no more does distraction turn me. no more is the world of mysteries set to spin infinitely.

-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 6-Aug-02/10:39 PM
Who said there was anything wrong with it? It's just that glamourising it doesn't seem to be very useful or poetic. It's part of the failing of humans that sometimes they get into a state where they rely on one person for happiness, and while this may be an interesting subject to write poetry about, your poem seems to be simply saying that such a state exists, in a fairly obvious way. Moreover you seem to be glad that you are in this state, and while this gladness may be a fundamental feature of the state, and therefore necessarily included in any poem which is written from the viewpoint of someone in the state, all the gladness seems to add is an impression of surrender and weakness. All I'm saying is this: if I had written a poem about being in this state, I would have at least made some reference to the fact that it's an inherently displeasing state when one neutrally observes it - it seems clearly unpleasant to be reliant on someone else for happiness; since you didn't, I wonder what you're trying to achieve.




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