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Letting Go (Free verse) by ThoughtfulSoul

Pleading me to admit I'm lonely Begging me to admit I'm sad Straining to uderstand who I am While you constantly come down on me Anger has come between us Even though hatred has lingered between us for such a long time My feelings can no longer be hidden for my ability to stand you has dissipated With every waking moment I struggle to find out who I really am Because I know the person I was when I was with you is not who I truly am Without the hatred Without the anger Without the bitterness Without the confusion I know who I am I know what I am I know I have transformed leaving the dead shell of my former self behind

Shuushin 5-Dec-03/7:58 PM
This is me blabbering:

The line breaks are telling - even the stanza breaks; well done. Either you've seen lots of good poems, or you have more good ones. But some of the word choices, metaphors are – too easy, to my eye, anyway.

Sentimentally, it’s a fairly basic, almost cathartic exercise, but cleanly - efficiently - executed. The tone matches the subject really well. Maybe you’ve just made lots of *this type* of poem.

For some reason the frickin thing intrigues me - makes me want to figure it out, as if there is more here. It’s like I want to see the skills used on some other subject, I want the adept structure building to match the images that are placed on it.

Now I have to go poke around at your other stuff (when I really should just go to bed, obviously)




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