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7 Days of Suicide (Free verse) by dragonfly

Every Sunday morning, while the family's at church, I walk up to the mountain and climb the tallest peak and dance with the thought of somersaulting over the edge. Every Monday night, while the family's fast asleep, stomachs full from tv dinners, I float down the stairs and into the kitchen and imagine sticking my head in our unused oven. Every Tuesday afternoon, on my way home from school, I take a detour and pass the neighborhood train station where I toy with the idea of taking a nap on the tracks. I doubt I need to say more. You catch my drift, I'm sure.

http://mulberryfairy 9-Nov-03/11:23 AM
The oven isn't quite unused if you just made TV dinners, is it? I would allude to the smell of the TV dinners in the oven, "the mixed stink of Hungry Man meatloaf/potatoes/corn/brownie" to show that your narrator is serious enough to open the oven. I wouldn't toy around with train suicide stuff, see my poem "body image" for a fictionalized example of a true story. You know, it throws me off a little that there is no reason given for the suicide ideation, but maybe the reasons for suicide don't work for poetry because they seem too cliche. If this narrator is actually you, as a clinical social worker, I would recommend that you try to find someone to talk to about this stuff. It is usually difficult to get away from that kind of thinking alone, but it seems like you want to, or you wouldn't have told the poemranker audience about "your" (if it is your) suicidal thinking.




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