Shuushin8 Nov 2003

Hey, not bad! - that last line though felt one beat too heavy; a slight nit.

"children of scorn" was cute - made me think of children of the corn (natch).

Stylistically the yoderian reversal of "liquored were", and "fuddled were" works out since it's consistent in two stanzas - that I can handle. Sometimes it's overdone (no probs here).