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The Gone-Too-Far Kitchen (Free verse) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?

Xylophone on the rocks, Pronounces its jangling wisdom, Whilst a passing politician, Dines on quail's brine and rye. Charles had become gravely yet unwittingly forsoothed, Athough his clockwork-laced innards, Had yet to imply the true extent of this, Save in the slightest of digestive suggestions. You see, a backspace is eternally depressed, Drowned in the sanguine depths, Of illiterate logic, A child's voice is heard nonetheless. Thank providence for that one lone call, Of the faraway amber rogue, Describing the agony of his swollen spleen, Or, as it is often known, the Delaware Tree.

Shuushin 27-Oct-03/6:17 PM
Pretty excellently done. Wonderful language use and the thing is polished up quite nicely.

the use of "sanguine" gives me a little pause though - I can appreciate the aliteration it gives, and I see you've tied it in with the last stanza - but I just can't roll over it. Prolly just me. Maybe it's *because* of the alliteration with "submerged"? Maybe swap out submerged instead?




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