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Nathan - under the sun (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer

(For Nathan 1984-1999) It was bright today, under the sun. nothing was there to say when my friend held the gun chrome barrel pointed to his dome. He chuckled, and kept a smile "let me fly free" a tear strolled while he called out this plea. I watched calmly, "What do you expect on the other side?" "The sea, blue and cold, carressing me" "I bet it would be one hell of a ride." Its bright today, under the sun. nothing was there to say when my friend held the gun chrome barrel pointed to his dome. His eyes rolled as the bullet passed grinning still, silence came after the explosion. It was quite a commotion, blood running into the gutter. People ran, my feet planted to the ground eyes glimpsed as my friend slept within the cement ocean. He looked so peaceful under the sun.

http://mulberryfairy 24-Oct-03/5:54 PM
Typo in the stanza before last (glimpsed) and peaceful's spelled wrong- unless that was a play on the word full (since his body was emptied of blood). Anyway, I think the rhyme makes this sound like one of your parody pieces, though the words aren't inappropriate or too cliche. You know you can improve this.




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